It is 2023 on earth 2.0, and the stadium is packed with mustachioed fans. Their chant of Pizza! Pizza! Pizza! is deafening. Traffic clogs the streets around the venue, and jealous plebeians who didn’t manage to get their hands on one of the hottest tickets of the season watch from the sidewalk as multicolored lights illuminate the sky above the stands. 

The chant dies down, an absence of sound which is louder than any crowd. In the vacuum, a stage light clicks, and a circle of light marks the center of everyone’s attention. 

John Green enters. He approaches the mic. The crowd stirs in anticipation. He leans in close and says “Tuberculosis is the most deadly disease known to man.” A shared intake of breath, and then, the crowd goes wild.